Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilarious Medley of Absurd Side Quests
Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just a brutally realistic medieval RPG; it's a comedic masterpiece brimming with unexpected absurdity. This article highlights some of the most ludicrous side quests encountered during my Bohemian adventures. No main storyline spoilers here, just quirky tales showcasing the game's unpredictable charm.
Table of Contents:
- Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
- Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
- Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
- Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
- Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
- Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
Želejov, a town boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? No money, instrument, or artistic direction.
Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, embarks on a chaotic series of tasks. He steals a lute (damaging his reputation), only for the bards to break the strings and demand new ones from sheep intestines. Further errands – settling debts, hauling sacks – finally equip the troubadours. Their reward? A soul-crushingly boring song about Henry's mundane chores. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laughed uncontrollably.
Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by the inebriated hunter, Vojtěch, who's currently stuck in a tree after a wolf encounter. The standard rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and sobering him up. But what if you deliver him directly to the tavern?
I chose the latter, hauling Vojtěch through swamps and forests. His reaction? Outrage. He refused further help and limped away, later offering a grudgingly provided scenic view as compensation.
Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
The Polovtsians, responsible for Henry's family's tragedy, were causing trouble in a tavern. My initial rage quickly dissipated. Instead of a battle, I found myself matchmaking, drinking, and singing with them. Then, a philosophical dog interrupted, challenging me to a lake swim ("Don't Drown!"). I survived, amidst much laughter.
Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turned me into Bohemia's most wanted. Leaving behind incriminating evidence (flashy accessories and lingering smells), I was nearly arrested, narrowly escaping due to quick thinking. The game's attention to detail is astounding.
Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
Stealing a horse and attempting to sell it to the sleeping gypsy horse trader, Mikolaj, resulted in a hilarious chase and a prolonged wait for Mikolaj to finish his breakfast. The sale eventually happened, but not without a lesson in the unpredictable nature of even minor escapades.
Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
These are just glimpses into the game's unique charm. Every decision, however small, creates unpredictable consequences. From rescuing drunkards to philosophizing with dogs, Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 delivers constant entertainment through its realism and immersive world, making it a truly unique open-world RPG experience. Bohemia awaits!
